Not that kind of girl

What concerns me is the question of feminism and if we have gotten anywhere in the last 2o, 30, (insert an amount of years) here. Over and over again, I see examples of incredubily smart women making stupid choices regarding friends- going back to people who cheat on them, use them, ect because they "can't be without a male" and all I keep asking myself is why?

Perphaps it was how we were all raised. Even before we can speak, we are spoonfeed fairtales where in the end the princess unable to extricate herself from her horrible situation is saved by prince charming and lives "happily ever after". This sets woman up to think that they need a man to be complete and sets unrealistic expectations that a man could never achieve and shouldn't have to.

Songs, movies and cultural stress the importance of love even above the developement of the self, and worse it perpetuates the "romeo and juilet" sort of love.

Dying for someone is not love, living for someone is. Caring for someone enough to examine youself, see if their concern as valid, and then changing for the betterment of youself is something to be admired. But that sick sort of obessive love, saying you "can't live without him," or "he'd die without me" is manipulative and needs to stop being praised.

But I wonder how can I change any of this when we are all so indoctrinated into a culture in ways that I can't even imagine( and given the response to my last breakup which consisted of me crying for two days straight, moving out of my apartment back home and lamenting that I didn't think I could go on) I too am just an indoctrinated as anyone else. How do you fight something that has so long been a part of you? I don't know....